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Term 1 2014 Written Language

WALT write a timed recount about a time when we did something special with our whanau or family.
Write about:
·      when and where you did something special
·      who was with you
·      what you did (think about the order you did things)
·      how you felt and why you felt this way.

By Jessica Snelleksz
Mum’s Birthday

On 11 of March it was my mum’s birthday. We went to Lone Star with Mum, Dad, Amelia, Paris, Nana and we met Aunty Rose and Uncle Bret and cousin Lily. We got to do colouring in at Lone Star. The pictures were Dora and Thomas and I got both of them and last time I got Goofy. We ordered. Me and Lily ordered hot dogs. Amelia and Uncle Bret ordered ribs and what Paris ordered, I can’t remember. My Nana got ribs and I don’t know what Mum, Dad and Aunty Rose got. I felt happy because I got to see my aunty and uncle and my cousin and it was my Mum’s birthday and I got to go out with my family to the best restaurant that there is.

Next steps
When writing about yourself and someone else, put yourself last e.g. Lily and I.
Could you add some powerful describing words to your story to make that clear picture in the mind of the reader.

Try not to use too many and’s in a sentence.

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